“Lay off the gin!” screamed the scotch,
Moments after the tequila grabbed a bottle of it and
Began humping it like a street dog.

If I’ve learned one thing from street dogs,
it’s do not bite children,
for parents enact specific revenge
In questions of their kin.

But here, amid the peanut shell alluvium,
Stands a mouse, a 13Q Extra in his hands,
Scurrying, slurring, telling the cat
What a pussy he is.