At the start of this year I felt good about everything. I felt like I was not only sucking the marrow from life, but crunching on its bones. I was struggling less to support myself as a writer, I’d begun corresponding with editors of majors magazine who seemed interested in my work, had that new book out, and the trip to Asia that had been a dream for sometime was on the calendar.
Perhaps, as they say I was going too fast too furious. So when back pain took away my ability to do the two things I do–guitar and writing–there were moments when it seemed that the walls of everything were crashing in. But it was in these moments of current loss that when I could really see just how good I have things. Despite the pain, mostly in the past week all I’ve felt is very lucky. Lucky to have the people in my life who I have. Lucky to know that my family and friends genuinely care about my well being, and are willing to give of their time and selves to help guide me through what could be a prolonged healing process.
Asia For My Health
My decision to go through with my trip to Asia has come about from trying to do what is best to get back to where I need to be. A visit to a doctor in Thailand runs about $20. I have been doing Yoga at the Daya Yoga Studio in Bushwick everyday for the past week and I feel this making a big difference in recovery. While I literally tear up when I think about leaving my guitar behind for the first time in 16 years, playing and hauling it is not helping me heal, so I think it’s time to take a break from her for a while.
Without comparing my current plan for Asia with my previous plan, I’ll say that my plan is to go to Asia to heal–to get everything working again. Beyond that, I’m not making any other plans. I don’t know where this road will lead me, but I do have faith that maybe this bump in the road is necessary part of getting to where I need to go. Maybe it’s good for a racing mind and spirit to be reminded that these things live inside a body, which sometimes needs time to heal.
So for now my plan is to get into Bangkok, and then find a place where I can take things slow, practice yoga twice a day, find a good acupuncturist, visit a doctor at a price I can afford, meditate, and give myself the time I need. Part of this is a big leap of faith–I have a one-way ticket, enough funds to last 2 months, and will need to start writing by that time if I’m to afford the ticket back. I have the faith that this needs to be my journey now, and this is a leap I can trust in. I’ll update the blog and social media when I feel up for it, but also may need to take a break from these things while I get the back better. Gratitude and love to everyone who’s been helping me through this. I love you all. I will try my best to be worthy of your love and support.
