Tag Archive for Christmas

The Day The Alligator Died

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Let’s start with some good news. This person, somehow, call it divine intervention, call it dumb luck, call it superpowers, did not go blind: The bad news that’s coming is so bad, so so incredibly mortifyingly horrible, that I think we should all jack ourselves up with some more positive news and thinking before I drop a…

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Why My Mom Must Be Stopped

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Before jumping into the alligator swamp in this blog post, we have one item to cover. First order of business: Mr. Snagglepuss, a cat from the neighboring building who has gone up and left. Despite vigorous flyering (what some people [certainly tree people] would call “excessive” flyering), Mr. Snagglepuss is still at large. Various theories abound…

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All I Want For Christmas Is An Alligator

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Last year I gave my brother, Isaac—who had just turned ten—a machete for Christmas. Isaac and I both agreed this was a most awesome present. But little did we know, as we basked in the bliss of our machete brought glory, our own mother was hatching a plot redolent of The Grinch. While everyone was distracted…

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