I’m running around Lake Como in Saint Paul, Minnesota near my brother’s apartment, passing the smiling summer faces of casual walkers, shirtless joggers, and babies caroling around in strollers. The day is a perfect eighty degrees and sparks of fulgurous light dance on the surface of the lake. July flowers border the trail and each…
Let’s start with some good news. This person, somehow, call it divine intervention, call it dumb luck, call it superpowers, did not go blind: The bad news that’s coming is so bad, so so incredibly mortifyingly horrible, that I think we should all jack ourselves up with some more positive news and thinking before I drop a…
Last year I gave my brother, Isaac—who had just turned ten—a machete for Christmas. Isaac and I both agreed this was a most awesome present. But little did we know, as we basked in the bliss of our machete brought glory, our own mother was hatching a plot redolent of The Grinch. While everyone was distracted…
I love my family for a number of reasons, even for reasons I used to hate them for. Like when my dad used to show up to my high school basketball games in Zubbas and sandles (in the dead of winter) and proceed to yell much louder than the other parents for me to attack…
“No,” says Jacob authoritatively, “Ninjas would defeat pirates. Because pirates are always drunk.” “Are you kidding,” Tyler jumps in, disgusted, “Pirates have entire fleets. They have cannons. Pirates would defeat ninjas.” If you were a few tables down from us at the bar, you’d think we were discussing religion or politics. The way we gestured…
I’m writing the draft of what you’re reading with a Sharpie on canvas. Tony’s house. There’s only have art supplies to write with. Everyone else is outside smoking now. I’m refraining. I tell people I’m training for a marathon. But really, I’m just running a lot. I’m procrastinating deciding when and where and which marathon…
